I'm Ok We're Ok
It turned out to be a really good weekend. Only after my husband & I had a heart to heart talk. We got over some big hurdles. We actually talked about how we are hurting each other. How much we both don't want to be lonely. How much he truley loves me and I him. That we have worked so hard for so long to build a foundation for our family, home and relationship - we don't want to throw it away. He cried. I cried. We hugged and we kissed.
We kissed like were in love. It was fantastic. I feel rejuvinated. I feel like there is hope.
That was Saturday morning. He left in the after noon to go to a card show with his friend. I stayed home to clean and redo my sons bedroom. Five hours later he came home. I had just finished. I walked past him and noticed he had glitter on his face. Glitter.
Turns out that my dearest went to a titty bar to top the day off. (Which in normal circumstances I could care less. He's a grown up. Do what you want) But the day of all days to do it is when we reconcile our marriage? Needless to say I was pissed. I took a shower. Blew dry my hair. Got dressed and drove off. That night I stayed at a hotel. I just thought if I saw that mans face for one second - I'd probably hurt him or die trying.
So...I bought a jug o wine. Ate Chipotle and got drunk by myself in my own little room in my own little world. Can I just say that ....man was it nice.
No one to ask me for a drink or something to do for them. Just me.
I went home early that morning and I didn't say a damn thing about what happened. It's over. It's done and he knew I meant business. It turned out we actually had a nice day. We went to the Indians Game, had lunch and went to the drive in. (Saw Spiderman) Good movie. The kids liked it. So all in all everthing has worked itself out and I feel good.
Thanks everyone for caring and for the advice.
P.S. Spidermans girl neighbor looks identical to my assistant. That is what I have to live with. She's a twig. Ugh.
P.P.S. 3 more days until my birfday!