Tiff says

Disorderly Conduct

I had a conversation with Bree last night. Not a fun thing to do..describing the different charges this man may face. How each one works. What the consequences are from each. With a lot of tears and no answer from her. I have made the decision to accept his plea for a lesser charge.

Disorderly Conduct.

There are three factors in which I have made my decision.

1. If this ever happens again - God forbid. I don't want her to be afraid to tell me. I want her to confide in me and I don't want to lose that trust. Don't get me wrong if something worse were to happen I'd prosecute to the fullest degree. But this is different to me.

2. I don't want her testify on the stand. This is way too traumatic for her. She is a quiet child. She is a gentle flower. I don't want to expose her to something that is unnecessary.

3. He will be punished - no matter what.

I have mixed feeling but, my decision is fully based on my daughter and her feelings. She is scared out of her mind of the thought going on the stand. She immediately started crying. Saying I just forgot about everything and now here it is again. She just wants it to be over as do I.

So with a heavy heart and confused mind, I called the detective and told him I'd accept his plea. I still don't know what the other family is going to do. This just may go to court if we don't agree. But, at least I know that I have done everything in my power to protect her.

He will still get a sentence, I was reassured. What? I don't know.

I know he was fired. That's good.

The detective said I can send in a letter or go to the courts myself and request punishment. I know he needs counseling that's for sure.

Just one step at a time guess.

Sexual Imposition or No?

A couple of months ago my daughter Bree had her pictures taken at school. We chose a pretty setting of trees and her sitting on a brick wall. Ahh what a lovely picture this was going to be.....

When I arrived at her school for a parent teacher conference, that was coincidentally scheduled for the same day as the pictures. I was told that my daughter was touched inappropriately. A thousand things had raced in my head. What do you mean? How? When? Where?

It turns out that the guy that was positioning her legs reached behind her and grabbed her butt. I am ashamed to say that even though this was tragic for my daughter I was relieved that it was nothing more. But, that relief quickly turned to anger. The teacher told me that the principle called the protection services. It's a formal matter now.

A month ago my daughter had to go back to the police station to give a formal statement (We both wrote a formal complaint at the school a week after the incident) and she had to pick him out of a line up. She did a very good job describing everything she had told me about live sex shows with amateurs, the teacher and the very first police man on the scene that week. However, she did not pick him out. But, the detective told me that if the other girl this happened to does then everything will go fine. (did I mention he did it to two people?) And he did pick him out.

The detective called me two weeks later to tell me that the prosecutor took the case. Again, I heard nothing for another two weeks. It seems the picture taker/butt grabber fired his lawyer and it delayed the process longer.

Now, I just got off the with the detective and this is where we are:

I have three choices and two of them have a catch.

The first one: Is what he is being prosecuted for now: Gross sexual imposition. Felony. Trial

The detective said he wants to plea bargain (which to me means he saying he's guilty) to:

Third degree Sexual imposition. Misdemeanor.

Disorderly Conduct: 1 degree less than a misdemeanor. No Trial.

These are major things to think about. If we agree to the above first two then my daughter does have to testify on the stand in front of the court. (I asked) if we agree to the last charge she doesn't. But, then again, he's pretty much getting away with touching girls where they shouldn't be touched.

All of my daughters life I've taught her that no one ever is allowed to touch you there. Ever. It is never right. She did the right thing telling her teacher. Do I punish her by having it go to court and having her testify? Because that is what she will feel .

Do I agree to the lesser charge because all he did was grab her butt? And because he has no criminal record not even a traffic ticket.

I need to get the detective an answer by tomorrow morning. So what do I do?

Oh and by the way if the other family this involves agrees to something totally different than we do. It goes to court no matter what for the judge to decide.

He will be arrested as soon as I put my phone call in tomorrow. I should feel good about that, right?

Then why don't I?

Sorry that this is poorly written - I'm in a huge hurry and need to get things finished here at work. But, I did want some input.

Thank You

There was a quiz on the radio I heard the other day. The question was: Who is the person you most think about? Seems easy doesn't it? The obvious answer would be your significant other. Nope. If you can believe it, they said it was an ex. This may not fit for everyone. But, it does for me and it got me thinking.

Make no mistake about it I love my husband and I've been with him literally half of my life.

But there was a man I knew before him. A man that changed my life. A man that made me see the good in others and the good that lies within me. A man that let me know that there was a life just outside my clinically insane domicile. He showed me that cheating wasn't normal. That I was beautiful. He showed me a life that I had never known before. As most of you know that I grew up in a horrid childhood. I saw things that could scar a person for life. But, see, it didn't scar me because of him. He was my release, my savior at the time.

We met when I was 14 and very vulnerable. My existence was meaningless. Fighting to stay alive and to survive 4 other brothers and sisters. With barely any food to eat and practically living on top of each other. When I met RM it was almost as if there was a light cascading over his head. My livejasmin angel. RM was 18 just graduating high school. Me a freshman. It wasn't love at first sight. In fact he wasn't all that attractive. But, once I got to know him and got a taste of what the real world was. I never looked back. We had the same dreams. We both wanted be someone with importance. He was going to be in the medical field and I was going to be his wife someday. He loved ME. Only.me and I never had that unconditional kind of love before. Even my own father tossed me aside. I was an inconvenience to him. My mother had her own issues and my step father was too busy whoring around to care.

RM brought me into his functional and lovely family. They accepted me as their own. I had family dinners with them. His father even taught me how to drive. To this day when I start my car I think of him. RM taught me that school mattered. That I had it in me to get good grades. Before I never cared. He gave me the courage I never knew I had.

He was my first. As awkward as it was. As young as I was. I never regretted it. I have pride knowing we stayed together for almost 4 years. Four years of him building my self confidence. Four years of unconditional love.

One day when I was 16 years old something happened to the both of us that changed both of our lives forever. We became pregnant. This was the beginning of the end for us, I knew. I naturally hid it from everyone. We shared that special bond of grief, being scared out of our minds. If my mother ever found out I honestly think she would have killed me or arrested him. That was never an option. Never. Everyday was so nerve wracking for me. Everyday I cried and everyday I wanted to die. In the end RM and I fought constantly. His views had changed and I held this ungodly bitterness towards him. We stayed together for a short while. But, there were too many things that got in the way.

I was a senior in high school and he was in his Jr. year in college. He was having problems with his grades and wanted to do nothing more than study. It was my final year of school and I wanted to spread my wings and fly. I wanted to be a teenager. I wanted to play on jasminlive. I got too confident and left him behind. That little thing that was always in the back of my mind played heavy on my heart and he was an everyday reminder of it. I needed to get away. Far away.

It's been 17 years since I've last seen him and Tuesday would have been our anniversary. It seems you never forget your first love. It's weird because I do think of him often. I think about how I never said Thank you for changing my life. Thank you for giving me the confidence I needed and thank you loving me unconditionally.

Thank you for you.

There's a PJ in my corner!

My son & I were playing in his room one day when he was around the age of 3. I noticed that every once in a while he would look over his shoulder at the ceiling just above his curtains in the corner.

Joey took the position at the far end of his room to play. Every once in a while he would glance up, scoot a little farther away and then continue playing. I watched him do this about 3 or 4 times and thought that this behavior was a little peculiar to me. Finally, I asked him what he was doing. He said to me that P.J. was back and that he was watching us play.

Excuse me? P.J. who's P.J.? What are you talking about.

He said (and I kid you not) - this guy who watches me play sometimes. I jut my head around as fast as I could and look up at the ceiling but I see nothing but cobwebs. The hairs on my arms are standing at attention and I'm a little freaked out. I tried not to make a big deal about this because I didn't want to scare him. But let me tell you when ever I walked into that room I stayed away from that corner too.

About a week later I was cleaning my house doing the usual intense cleaning I do. Making sure that cobweb I noticed earlier was gone. How did I miss that before? Dusting everything in my house was part of the ritual. I was taking pictures down from my TV. and Joey pointed to one of them. He said "Mom that's P.J." "Mom that's the guy in the corner" I looked at him in utter amazement. My heart started beating fast and little beads of sweat started to form on my upper lip. What Joey didn't know is he pointed to his great grandfather. Who died 5 years before. His name is Patrick Joseph. Incidentally Joey is named after him aka Joseph Patrick.

Screaming for my husband like someone was just murdered. He races up the basement stairs skipping 2 or 3 steps at a time. Thinking someone was just murdered. I ever so gently explain what his son just said to me. Without saying another word my husband went to the phone dialed his mom to see if "poppa" as he is known to everyone. Had ever went by P.J.? My mother in laws said well yeah...way back when he went by P.J. when he was in the Navy.

Great just great. I have a ghost living in my house. This went on for awhile. The sightings. We'd be watching TV in the living room, Joey would turn around look at the couch, and then he would turn around and look at me his eyes big as saucers. My daughter and I would look at each other and we would bolt into another room. We never got used to it. In fact, it got to be so bad that we were afraid to go into a room alone.

Eventually the sighting stopped about six months later. They say that children can see ghosts, angels or what ever you'd like to call them because at that age they have no memories. I believe that. Joe does remember these incidences but only vaugley. For me it's a memory and an experience I will never forget.

Even though I was freaked out - it's a comforting thought that the people you loved still love you. That they check on you from time to time. That they love their grandchildren and don't miss out on their growing up.

Club Paradise

I'm in the middle in the back.

Well, I'm back from paradise and pretty much hating my life right about now. I think I'm in a bit of culture shock being back here.

Mexico was everything I imagined it to be or at least the resort was. From lush green lawns, tall palm trees, a pool you would die for (more on that in a bit), the ocean so clear you can see you feet waist deep. Teeky huts sprinkled along the pavement by the pool and ahhh a swim up bar. My home away from home. I spent quite a bit of time there. How can I not? That would be a mortal sin right?

The pool was the absolute coolest thing I have ever witnessed. There were a total of four of them. Side by side to each other. I'll try and put into words but I probably won't do it justice.

The first pool was just a plain ol' pool but it had a water fall at the end of it. The second was by far the best-it had the swim up bar...God I miss that. Sorry...focus Tiffani. Anyway, this pool had a total of 4 waterfalls coming out of the rocks it was just so damn pretty. The third pool was a wave pool - I didn't spend anytime in that one. I mean why go in that when you have real waves 100 feet away? That just didn't make any sense to me. And last but not least the final pool wasn't actually a pool but, a lazy river ride. We made it a ritual to go on that at least once a day. It was surrounded by beautiful plants, birds and statues.

My days consisted mostly of waking up around 9 headin to the pool, swim up bar, lay out, swim up bar, beach (great waves), swim up bar and ending it with the lazy river.

We ventured to a couple of cities in Mexico. Playa del Carmin - very cool shops and bars and we went to Cancun one night. Very fun there - but I wouldn't want to spend the week.

I had a couple of drunken nights. Tokillya was the drink of choice. The second night there we found a huge cockroach in the pool bathroom and I flipped my lid, ran out, slid on water fell on my knees and bloodied myself good. That same night we all went skinny dipping in the ocean. No pics though. Actually we do have pictures but only the guys.

I thought of Jim too because they have peacocks roaming around freely. In fact one day when I went to my balcony I saw them sun bathing there. I was so pissed I didn't have my camera. Murphys law.

The only bitch I have...well actually I have two but one couldn't be helped. The first one is buffet food. God I can't stand it. I know I know that's what's to be expected of when you go to an all inclusive. But there is something about the smells I can't take. All of these different aromas mixing together when they have NO business being together. Like bakery, Cajun and Mexican food all in one big fat swirl right up my nose. Fuck! I hate that. Don't get me wrong the first few days were fine. But that last day I barfed. I just could take it anymore. My other bitch was the bug bites. I look like I just finished the Survivor series. I have all these tiny bites on my legs and arms. You don't even notice them until I brush up against something and that's it...I start itching like I haven't washed myself in a week.

All in all it was the best damn trip I have EVER been on. I highly recommend going to Riviera Maya Iberostar resort.